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[strictdiscipline]

CALL ▲ VOICEMAIL ▲ TEXT ▲ ACTION ▲ GO WILD!
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Comments

[grunehexe]

just me.

do not worry. i will gladly die before allowing anyone else to know the method of its make.

[It's text, and she's drunk, and she won't realize until later how free a talk she'd had, but. She's serious.]

[strictdiscipline]

I would prefer you didn't die.

[But she understands the necessity of such a thing, had contemplated it herself many years ago. It's a parallel she finds both discomfiting and sorrowful.

In the meantime—]

If nothing else, you have this goal before you. You can't die until you accomplish it.

[grunehexe]

i know that.

[she does, she promises-]

if it cannot be achieved in my lifetime, my daughter shall continue my work.

[strictdiscipline]

[—Ah. For a moment, her entire body still, dread swirling uncomfortably in the pit of her stomach as her mind races back fifteen years.

But Sieglinde is not her father, and magic is not alchemy.]

You seem very certain that this will pass down to your children.

[grunehexe]

if I cannot do it myself, only my heir could be counted on. if possible I will see it done in my lifetime, but...

[no one seemed to understand- why she was so intent on bearing an heir as soon as possible, with the best genes possible... she knew it was wrong, but.

But.]

[strictdiscipline]

[Counted on. Of course. No greater bond than that of parent and child.

Riza's silent for a long moment, knuckles white as her hands sit in tight fists on her lap. Maybe the circumstances will be different, maybe Sieglinde's future child will be more than happy to take on her mother's mantle. Maybe none of her fears would ever come to be.

But still, she can't help but ask:]

And what if she doesn't wish to?

[It's an answer she finds that she desperately needs to know.]

[grunehexe]

then-

[she almost answers the same way her own mother would have. Interest in anything else wasn't tolerated, wasn't allowed, to the point of creating an entire fake world. Surely she wouldn't do that to her own child? (Would she?)]

then i shall need birth another. if i begin early enough i ought not yet be barren by the time such an inclination manifests.

[strictdiscipline]

[The answer should be relieving - then I won't force her to follow my lead, in essence - but the knot in her stomach doesn't loosen, not entirely.

But—perhaps this isn't the best topic to be discussing with a drunken 12 year old. (And she admits to needing a little more time to process this resurgence of old memories, still with the ability to hurt it seems.)]

Let's not worry about giving birth just yet. You're still young.

[grunehexe]

[She is drunk. And she is twelve. If she remembers any of this tomorrow she will certainly regret it- for being so free with her secrets.

But now she's just frustrated. Didn't Riza hear what she just said? (Thought-Typed?!)]

that is precisely WHY i have to begin soon

why does no one understand?

[strictdiscipline]

[Sorry, Sieglinde. It seems so few of Audentes see eye-to-eye with her on these things. Even Riza's taken aback by the fervor of Sieglinde's reply.]

What do you mean?

[grunehexe]

i could be killed in ALASTAIR's service this very day, or the next

any of us could

if i have not yet birthed an heir... if i have not yet raised her and taught her my secrets...

[Then there might never be a cure for what she'd done.

And the responsibility of those potentially killed by what she'd made... what's having a child a year years before other people considered it proper compared to that?]

[strictdiscipline]

You are not going to have a child at 12.

[Regardless of whatever opinions Sieglinde may have on this subject, that much she's putting her foot down on.]

We'll find a different way to fix things. There's never only one route as the only solution.

[grunehexe]

whatever age i happen to be once i begin menstruating

[thats Sieglinde putting HER foot down]

[strictdiscipline]

[????????? no??????]

You don't even have a boyfriend.

[grunehexe]

One does not need a lawful partner to conceive, Riza.

[honestly]

[strictdiscipline]

No, but most children enjoying growing up in the presence of both their parents.

[Actually, that's not quite true but let's not talk about that.]

[grunehexe]

Many a decent child has been made without a father.

[AFTER ALL, LOOK HOW SHE TURNED OUT.]

[strictdiscipline]

[................ no comment]

I don't disagree, but there's also the matter of work. Do you really wish to take on the arduous task of raising a child by yourself?

[grunehexe]

I will hardly be without aid.

[One thing Zeta-12 taught her... there are a lot of people on this team willing to look after other people's babies.]

And even if I were to be- as if that would be what dissuaded me at this point.

[strictdiscipline]

[smh.....why is she even having this conversation with a 12 year old]

Then what would dissuade you?

[grunehexe]

[this is your life riza]

why must you dissuade me in the first place?

you sound just like haise

[strictdiscipline]

[she'll take that comparison as a compliment, tyvm]

Because we worry.

Did Haise say the same things?

[grunehexe]

i wish everyone would worry more about what i worry for and less about my heir

romance and only having children with who you love

it is ridiculous