[ They're coming up dry on witticisms today. Sober conversation, cool grey sky, the neighborhood backdrop in eerie stillness—it's all so damn gloomy. His 'good' news here doesn't help. ]
They should work, even if I'm going nuts. As long as Master's got the stomach to use 'em, anyway.
[ Except after he says as much, he pauses, a wry smile cracking at the corner of his mouth. His last memories before ALASTAIR kick in like a bad inside joke; the irony's ridiculous. Kinda funny, if he looks at it sideways. It's inappropriate, morbid humor—just a shred of it—and he capitalizes as hard as he can. Better than facing other things, like how badly his hands want to twitch when he raises one, how his instincts tell him to go for the throat when he brushes her cheek. ]
—Is it bad I kinda hope he doesn't? It's bad, isn't it.
[ He's kidding, of course. Mostly. More like wishful thinking, if fate was less of a bitch. ]
[The apology's enough to tease forth a small smile, reassuring.]
Don't be. This is your first mission, isn't it? There's a lot to worry about.
[Perhaps it's standard as far as ALASTAIR missions go but for someone previously part of the military, a large and well-oiled machine, the missions here have always seemed more disorganized and more difficult to accomplish.]
You're always welcome to call me, if you need to talk.
[ For God Eaters, the missions were simple as well. Mostly hunting orders or retrieval orders. Nothing so complicated as having to adjust to a new world. ]
Thank you... I really appreciate it.
[ Julius tries his best, but sometimes he's not the most suitable person to ask. ]
If you need help with anything, I'd be happy to help too!
[Reika's enthusiasm is heartwarming, enough to untwist a few of the knots growing ever tighter in Riza's stomach. It's a relief to know people are still pressing on despite all the setbacks, and that there's still enough hope to go around.]
I don't know there's anything right now, but I'm sure you're doing as much as you can already.
[If there was only something she herself could do more of.]
The end of one troubling topic only leads back to the continuation of another just as distressing topic. Thankfully there's not much else left on the subject to say.]
Yes. But if you need anything before then, all you need to do is ask.
[The motion of his hand skimming across her cheek's mirrored over her heart, a knife's edge pressing down to carve a shallow line that bleeds and aches with more vehemence than such a paltry wound ought.
Is it bad? Of course. Does she hope things don't come down to using the command seals? More than anything. But hope's a fickle thing, a flyaway dream she's never been able to keep within her grasp no matter how tightly she curls her fingers. There's certainly none to be found here as her eyes flick from his face to his outstretched hand, muscles tight with a tension that betrays his otherwise even tone. It reminds her of another time, another place, a different set of circumstances with largely the same results.
(Don't make me go through this again.)
Her hand finally goes slack, dropping away from his. Based on his actions, the razor-sharp control of his movements, her presence runs more and more of a risk with each passing second.]
I've never taken you for a pessimist. [It's sharper than she intends, the disapproval a poor cover up for distress. No doubt the lack of an answer's answer enough anyway. Louder, firmer:] I should go.
[Before he loses his tenuous anchor to reality. Before her brittle self-defenses crumble entirely.]
The mention of the cure gets her to look more serious, though. ]
I'm not sufficiently educated, I think... so I help with moving and other work like that. I'd also try my best to take care of the people who are working hard.
[ She fetches the lab people food when she can, which is often. ]
[Like Reika, her own knowledge of science and medicine is middling at best, focused on immediate functional treatment rather than elusive concepts and theories. But to succeed is to divide and conquer, to cover all parts of the whole, and in that Reika is invaluable.]
That's all we can do, for now. [And speaking of their duties, the tasks they've assigned themselves:] I shouldn't keep you from your work. I'm sure you have plenty you need to do.
[ She's often felt as if she can't do enough yet, given how people are still suffering despite her best efforts. But maybe, that's just the limit of it. She has to accept that she can't help everyone. ]
No, you're not holding me up. I'd like to help you too, if I can... so just let me know. I cook a lot nowadays.
[ She feeds Sakura, Julius, Maya, and now half the science group if they're okay with it. ]
[A homecooked meal sounds nice enough - she hasn't had much time for more than a quick microwave dinner on the rare events she's been home - but she'll save that for a different day.
For now, the radio at her waist flickers to life, static making way for a report of a crowd of infected shambling towards a nearby apartment complex. Her smile fades and she pushes herself up from her chair.]
How about a raincheck on that? It looks like work calls.
[But when has there been a time work hasn't called, of late.]
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