What? [ COME ON, RIZA... He's always reminded she's from some weird Not Earth in the worst ways. ] No, no—they're like... fried onions in some flour batter stuff. I don't hate myself enough to eat onions raw, ever.
[Congrats Dipper, your entire fake family is made up of neanderthals. Obviously their next meal when they get back to Oska should be chili dogs and onion rings. And milk to throw in Lancer's face.
Her face twists a little at the answer, unconvinced.]
That doesn't sound very appealing.
["Flour batter stuff" is not a very convincing argument.]
Aw, man... I should'a dragged you guys to a burger joint around here before things went south. You're missing out if you've never tried America's finest in greasiest foods.
The kitchen has everything we could ever will into existence, Riza, and that includes the most amazing burger with a side of onion rings you will ever have in your life. Or—maybe some french fries. Have you ever had french fries? Actually, scratch that—curly fries.
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What's wrong with broccoli?
[This is a legitimate question.]
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Oh. Are you someone who for some weird reason likes to eat every vegetable?
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They're good for you. But I suppose optional if you're happy with your current body type.
[Read: short and skinny.]
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—Huh? Aw, c'mon, I'm not gonna be like this forever! [ ... Hopefully... ] I'm still growing up—and my family's got some pretty good genes!
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You are if you keep refusing to eat your beets. [Why are all kids like this.] Are there any vegetables you do like?
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Uhh... Corn? Yeah, corn's decent. Some are pretty good when you toss 'em on a pizza, too.
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But only on pizza? [Pizza negates everything about vegetables, what's the point.]
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[That's kind of weird but OK, she's learned that Dipper taste works in strange and mysterious ways.]
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Her face twists a little at the answer, unconvinced.]
That doesn't sound very appealing.
["Flour batter stuff" is not a very convincing argument.]
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I'll try it in Oska then, if the kitchen has it.
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The kitchen has everything we could ever will into existence, Riza, and that includes the most amazing burger with a side of onion rings you will ever have in your life. Or—maybe some french fries. Have you ever had french fries? Actually, scratch that—curly fries.
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Is there really an important difference between the two? [THEY'RE BOTH POTATOES.]
stop shooting
1/2 oh my god, leave me and my mistakes of last night alone
2/2
Alright, I'll trust you on this. [DON'T LEAD HER OR HER GI TRACT ASTRAY, DIPPER.] I'll be home in a few hours with food.
[Get ready for a whole lotta beets.]