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[strictdiscipline]

CALL ▲ VOICEMAIL ▲ TEXT ▲ ACTION ▲ GO WILD!
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[grunehexe]

i wish... there is nothing but jerky.

[strictdiscipline]

I'll bring you something.

[As soon as she can....scrounge something up......In the meantime:]

Any particular reason for all the drink?

[To celebrate, to forget, something else entirely...?]

[grunehexe]

they were just giving it out?

i do not agree that this is a "celebration" however.

[strictdiscipline]

No? There are plenty who would agree that the retreat of an enemy is enough cause for celebration.

[Not her - battle and bloodshed have never been a reason to celebrate - but there are plenty of others who would argue otherwise.]

[grunehexe]

those people may be fools who cannot see the cost.

[strictdiscipline]

[.........]

You're very wise, for someone so young.

Will you remember the costs of this mission, even after we leave?

[grunehexe]

i am a genius, riza, i am sure you have noticed.

everyone tells me so.

[She's too observant, too intelligent, to be allowed the luxury of forgetting.]

[strictdiscipline]

[that's enough to earn a smile.]

Of course you are. I never doubted it.

What problem do you hope to tackle next, once you finish your current ones?

[grunehexe]

i have several projects waiting still.

i need to perfect my potion for haise, and work on graham's... and koltira's...

i hope our stay in oska will be long.

[strictdiscipline]

They rarely are.

But what about yourself, Sieglinde? You have so many projects going for the benefit of others. Isn't there something you've always wanted to look into for yourself?

[grunehexe]

even if i complete the cure for the ultimate magic...

i cannot take it to my world. i cannot know i would even remember the formula if i returned.

maybe there is no point.

[maybe she's never even told people about that special project of hers.]

[strictdiscipline]

The ultimate magic?

[grunehexe]

it can kill thousands, very quickly, and very painfully.

i promise i did not know. i thought it would help.

[strictdiscipline]

[The information sends a shiver down her spine, but more than that it fills her with regret. Empathy.]

Many things created with the intent to help can harm instead.

[But that's not the point here.]

Is there someone that wields this ultimate magic you can speak of?

[grunehexe]

just me.

do not worry. i will gladly die before allowing anyone else to know the method of its make.

[It's text, and she's drunk, and she won't realize until later how free a talk she'd had, but. She's serious.]

[strictdiscipline]

I would prefer you didn't die.

[But she understands the necessity of such a thing, had contemplated it herself many years ago. It's a parallel she finds both discomfiting and sorrowful.

In the meantime—]

If nothing else, you have this goal before you. You can't die until you accomplish it.

[grunehexe]

i know that.

[she does, she promises-]

if it cannot be achieved in my lifetime, my daughter shall continue my work.

[strictdiscipline]

[—Ah. For a moment, her entire body still, dread swirling uncomfortably in the pit of her stomach as her mind races back fifteen years.

But Sieglinde is not her father, and magic is not alchemy.]

You seem very certain that this will pass down to your children.

[grunehexe]

if I cannot do it myself, only my heir could be counted on. if possible I will see it done in my lifetime, but...

[no one seemed to understand- why she was so intent on bearing an heir as soon as possible, with the best genes possible... she knew it was wrong, but.

But.]

[strictdiscipline]

[Counted on. Of course. No greater bond than that of parent and child.

Riza's silent for a long moment, knuckles white as her hands sit in tight fists on her lap. Maybe the circumstances will be different, maybe Sieglinde's future child will be more than happy to take on her mother's mantle. Maybe none of her fears would ever come to be.

But still, she can't help but ask:]

And what if she doesn't wish to?

[It's an answer she finds that she desperately needs to know.]

[grunehexe]

then-

[she almost answers the same way her own mother would have. Interest in anything else wasn't tolerated, wasn't allowed, to the point of creating an entire fake world. Surely she wouldn't do that to her own child? (Would she?)]

then i shall need birth another. if i begin early enough i ought not yet be barren by the time such an inclination manifests.

[strictdiscipline]

[The answer should be relieving - then I won't force her to follow my lead, in essence - but the knot in her stomach doesn't loosen, not entirely.

But—perhaps this isn't the best topic to be discussing with a drunken 12 year old. (And she admits to needing a little more time to process this resurgence of old memories, still with the ability to hurt it seems.)]

Let's not worry about giving birth just yet. You're still young.

[grunehexe]

[She is drunk. And she is twelve. If she remembers any of this tomorrow she will certainly regret it- for being so free with her secrets.

But now she's just frustrated. Didn't Riza hear what she just said? (Thought-Typed?!)]

that is precisely WHY i have to begin soon

why does no one understand?

[strictdiscipline]

[Sorry, Sieglinde. It seems so few of Audentes see eye-to-eye with her on these things. Even Riza's taken aback by the fervor of Sieglinde's reply.]

What do you mean?

[grunehexe]

i could be killed in ALASTAIR's service this very day, or the next

any of us could

if i have not yet birthed an heir... if i have not yet raised her and taught her my secrets...

[Then there might never be a cure for what she'd done.

And the responsibility of those potentially killed by what she'd made... what's having a child a year years before other people considered it proper compared to that?]